Dear spring, come over here!

I know, I know. It's not here yet! But still.. Somehow I can already feel the air changing. The wind gets a little softer, the cold isn't that sharp and sometimes the sun is finally showing itself! I even woke up this morning because the birds we're singing. I really can't wait until these cold and dark months are over. To cheer myself up and give you something to look forward too, I'll make you this little, very random and small, spring post full of happiness!

First of all: this spring, I'm turning twenty! Woohoo! Sounds old to me, because I won't be a teenager anymore. But it also means I grew up a little bit more. I'm getting more involved into life, and it makes me wiser every day. So this spring will be extra special for me! Spring means growth, and also means new life. People fall in love all over again with their loved ones, or find new love. Love is everywhere when spring is knocking on the door.

Flowers will be shooting out of the ground and blossom will fill the trees. Nature is at it's best and we can finally enjoy a little walk in the sunshine. We can breath in the clean, soft spring air and feel the sun shining on our faces. Letting it's warmth filling you up. The sky is full of life, because all the birds will be returning from their warm vacations in lands far away. The cows and horses will be back on the land, so will humans be. People walking outside and chattering in a easy pace.

What I also really love is that people are getting inspired and creative again! While we had no time for it in the winter because the days are short and the nights are long, we find the passion again. When I take a walk in spring time I see people paint in the fields. I see people working out in the mornings, running past old couples taking a nice walk together. For me, poems are a important source of inspiration. I never write them during wintertime. But as soon as the sun shows it's face again, I get this urge to write things down again in a nice little poem. 

As soon as the sun shines trough my window, I realise my room could use a new layer of paint and some cleaning. Spring means a fresh year, a new start. Clean out the old, put in the new! Time to fresh things up. I've been snooping around on the interent to find some inspiration for a new and fresh summer room. Just to clear my mind and fill my room full of positive energy! I'll might make a blogpost about it. 

What does the spring mean to you? What do like most, or least about it? Let me know! 

"If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome."

  Lots of love♡

Funerals

The whole world stopped spinning. Pain is rushing trough my veins. I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, like it's trying to find a way out. A deaf ringing fills my ears. A fog drifts in my head. I can't move, my body can't. Where are my hands? I don't know. My muscles don't work. My body doesn't listen. My throat is thick and my tongue is heavy. I can't speak. Can't think. Can't breath. 

This is what I felt when I lost my grandad six years ago. He was the first relative I ever lost. He was one of those people that formed the foundation of my small world. We went on a little vacation in Holland with my parents, brother, uncle and grandparents. We had the time of our lives for five full days. Just us, a small circle of family having fun together and celebrating the fact that we loved each other. Friday night we came home. Saturday morning my mom woke me up with tears in her eyes and said: "Granddad is very, very sick and is in the hospital. Mommy is going to see him now. You stay here with uncle and be good." Saturday night he passed away.

This was the beginning of many funerals, unfortunately. I was blessed with many granddads and grandmas because the ones of my own mom and dad got very old. And yes, we all have to die sometimes. So in five year time, my family had to bury six people that we're very dear to us. When you are a young girl that just hits puberty, that's pretty tough. On the bright side? I learnt how to grief. And that people dying doesn't have to be a bad thing.

I hear you thinking; WHY? DYING IS HORRIBLE! No it's not. Not when you are 98 years old, can't remember the names of your own kids and the only thing you can do is sitting in a chair in a nursing home and stare.There comes a time we need to leave this earth because we lived our lives and we are done here. We get to rest. Of course, when someone dies at a young age because of an accident and is simply to young to go, that is very sad. Unfortunately these things happen, and we'll probably never find out why. Just like my granddad died way to young.

Grieving is hard. Grieving hurts. I know, it's not something you want to do. You need to do it though. We all need it. We need to process, cry, heal and especially; we need to remember. Don't remember the way you're loved one died, or the question 'why'? Don't try to think you could safe this person. Don't ask yourself the question; 'what if'? There are no answers to these questions. Do not try to find them, they are not here. Instead, think of the fun memories. Think of every single thing you did, funny things this person said and you will never forget. Make a huge book full of pictures and funny stories, or other things that make you think of this person in a positive way. That would be the way I want to be remembered when I'm gone. You're loved one would want you to do that too.

After losing someone who was very dear to you, take your time. Take a rest, grieve. Cry as much as you need to. After that, pick up your life. Step by step. Enjoy the little things, and think of your loved one in a positive way. Remember the good things. And in the mean time: live life to the fullest. Take all the pretty and nice things in life has to offer. Learn, love, and inspire. Don't let your grieve hold you back. Life is waiting for you.

“I see you everywhere, in the stars, in the river; to me you’re everything that exists; the reality of everything.”     -Virginia Woolf

Lots of love♡

Grab that chance!

Today I want to talk to you guys about taking chances. My life is slightly changing lately, because I'm letting some things go that give me a lot of negative energy. I feel that new chances got the room to suddenly appear. These new chances are right there in front of you. It's your choice if you take them, or leave them.

The problem with taking chances is that they're scary. You don't know what is going to happen as soon as you jump in to it. You need to be open minded, watch and learn. You can't tell upfront what is going to happen. It might be something really good, or it might not be what you expected. What to do when one of these chances suddenly appear?

In my experience, you really have to listen to your heart and your intuition. That gut feeling tells you when something isn't quite right about it, or it gives you butterfly's in your stomach! As soon as this happens, you can trust on that feeling. Make sure to use your head too, something aren't as possible as you think they are.

My experience with taking chances and jumping into things, is that is feels good: they are so worth it. I never regretted anything I grabbed with both hands, because it felt good. Life attends to throw something nice in your lap. You only have to notice it, recognise it, and take it. Today I had a moment like that. I saw a very small advertising on the Internet about a girl with autism that needs a buddy. In 45 minutes I am having an interview because I immediately sended an e-mail because I was just looking for someone who needed a buddy to give support, and do fun things with. Today I am taking a chance. I am jumping full into something that I don't know anything about. I don't know how it works, what I have to do or if I even have a good connection with this girl. But my gut feeling says it's okay. At least I'll try and find out if this is something for me, so I can't regret it later on. Another thing that recently happened, is that I applied for a new job. Why? Because my best friend randomly told me that they needed staff at the nursing home where she works. Just at the moment I am starting to hate my current job.

We grow our entire life. No matter how big or small this growth is, or what age you are. We all experience and learn in our lives, which means we can grow out of something. Our job will become to easy, our home  will be to small, or that one friend won't be good for you anymore. We move on. We change our lives. We fill it with activities we need and we like to do at that very moment. We have different desires. We change. We take chances.

My advice: open up your eyes. You don't like the way things are going in your life right now? Watch it. Life will organise a way for you to change it. Watch it closely, and grab the chance as soon as it appears.

"When life gives you lemons..."

Lots of love ♡